not what a girl wants. what this girl wants

So I'm on facebook, I get this gross message. "Hey you're hot wanna F***."
Reply: BLOCK BUTTON.
Guys, is that supposed to impress a girl?

I don't even get a... you know... Hey my name is....I liked your page I'd like to get to know you and talk to you sometime?

What..is the world just becoming a place for just sex? What happened to relationships?
If you're trying to impress me, you failed. Sorry! I'm not just about hooking up. I would like to find someone worth my time. Ugh. I was actually disgusted. Sorry, if you're that easy you may want to go to a local std testing clinic. Secondly, over facebook? You've got to be kidding meeee. How desperate. Ick. I hate online creepers. I get plently of the "hey you're hot" messages. Most of them never get a response. Ever. Being a whore isn't going to impress me.

If a guy wants to impress me....its not too hard. Someone who is attractive, has a good personality, and not a whore? Not just a hey wanna F***? Last I checked I'm not standing on a corner. I'm too old for the stupid.. lets see how many girls we can get game that  immature guys like to play. I won't be someone's door mat either. I feel like more girls need to have self respect. Sure bikini pictures and stuff are okay, thats not trashy. There are girls who have just their hands covering their boobs posted on facebook. Come on now. As for me I have bra photos but thats as far as it goes. Let me explain, girls wear bikinis outside, my bra is my bikini. I wouldn't ever get naked though and post the pictures online like some girls actually have.  Plus i take pride in my Victoria's Secret bras. I'm not doing "dirty" poses or anything I kinda just took them for myself because I like to be proud of my body. It's not like my boobs are showing or anything. Girls who have naked pictures online.. ick. So when you go home to your guy its not special because everyone has seen your crotch.

When I date a guy I treat him like a king. Now its just about meeting a guy who is worthy of that treatment.

Bottom line. The world is not just about sex. Sure sex is great, but what happened to relationships? No one has morals these days its like everyone cheats on everyone and I'm sitting here thinking to myself what is happening to the world?!!? Where have all the relationship worthy men gone!? Even relationship worthy girls for the guys!!! A lot of girls I have seen here are either too into drama, act psycho, or are slutty. I'm none of those, thank god. I can't really hang out with girls because I could  never be like that. I'm girly but I'm not catty bitchy or slutty. I'm not saying all girls are like that just most I know of. Its no wonder everyones getting screwed over. Sometimes literally. People claim to be honest when in reality they're some of the biggest liars I've ever met. For example, my most recent ex (name remains anonymous) told me "bae i keep it 100 all the time I'll never lie to you Ima gentleman." PFFFFFFFFT that lasted two weeks. Until I caught him talking to some heavy girl behind my back. I give credit where it is due. I suppose if she was pretty with a decent personality I would feel bad. All I could do was laugh. She randomly attacked me over facebook telling me I couldn't talk to him at all and he was with her now. Can you be any more immature? I didn't even know who she was and she wasn't even on my friend list! They lasted about a week. I was pretty upset at first then I realized I deserve a REAL man not someone who just CLAIMS TO BE REAL.

So all I'm saying is, If you want to impress someone, be yourself and sorry but being a liar and a whore will not get you far. At least not in my book.

this makes you think

UGH this computer is as slow as a turtle.
UGH I have so many bills to pay.
UGH I'm chilly but I don't feel like getting a hoodie.
UGH I don't feel like working tomorrow.
UGH I'm single and most of the guys here are liars!!!!!!!
Typical complaints right?

Think of this. Some days, I do this too, even the smallest problem can seem so big.
At least you have a home, a roof over your head.
At least you have food in your stomach, you have clothes.
At least you have a job! (well, maybe not if you're not old enough but you'll get there, enjoy the freedom of a social life while you can.)
At least you have this computer you're on right now to read this.
Some people are DYING of starvation. Some people are DYING of cancer. Some people don't even have arms and legs. Often I find myself taking small things for granted that we normally don't notice. Yes I have.. tons of stress in my life but I guess I'm trying to find a way to make things alright.

Sometimes I'll look in the mirror and not feel good enough. Then I remember, the person who made me feel that way is no better than I am. No one is superior to anyone else. If someone doesn't treat you how you should be treated chances are they don't deserve you anyways. I guess all I'm trying to say is don't take people or things for granted. One day someone may be here and the next they're gone. Its scary isn't it?

I admit it being single can totally suck a** sometimes but I'm still hoping there's someone out there.
Believe me, I've had my fair share of liars and cheaters. Still, I haven't given up on EVERYONE. Maybe he's not in Rochester New York but I know not every guy is a lying scum bag.

you should all read this. about me. thoughts on cheaters, racism, homophobes.

I'm Polkadots, about to be 21. Welcome to my diary.


So, Today made me REALLYYYY think about, everything. I guess I have too big of a heart. I want to meet new people and get away or something. I feel like living here in this city, is not really living at all. So many people here have that same mentality. That selfish "its all about me." I have a big heart and its often taken for granted.


I am a very VERY honest person and not many people here are like that. Sometimes I wonder if theres a secret a** hole society and they all decided to move to the city I live in.  So many people here lie just to get what they want. Its funny, a girl I know called me saying she got cheated on, she took her boyfriend back. I told her when she originally called me "Don't go back to him, you're wasting your time, if he really loved you he wouldn't have ever done that to you." Sure enough, they ended up breaking up because he didn't stop cheating, he got better at lying. She wasted about two years. If you stay with someone who cheats you're only preventing yourself from meeting the right person who WON'T do that. I went back to a cheater one time. It got me NO WHERE. I learned my lesson there.
I feel like if I'm not enough for you, guess what? YOU DON'T DESERVE ME. I feel like the only honest girl here, one that doesn't create drama, or cheat, or lie. I feel too grown to play immature games. I don't care about how much money someone has or where he's from. If he is a honest guy and attractive then great. (My type is usually Puerto Rican or Black. :] ) I've dated a few white guys and asian guys but I find Puerto Ricans and Black guys attractive. (Uhmm like Diggy Simmons, did you see him in the mindless behavior video for Mrs Right? HELLO!) Trey Songz, Wiz Khalifa, the list can go on and on.


Anyways, from that day on, I realized I am NEVER going to let someone walk all over me and take me for granted. Someone who truly loves me will deserve me. I see so many people "staying together for the kids" and being miserable. Truthfully, you should seperate and be with someone who makes you happy, in the long run its better for the child because then your kid isn't around arguing and fighting all the time. My parents are divorced. My mother is much happier and even got re-married and I have a little half brother. My sister has the same father I have and we turned out okay. (I think.)  I had a rather F***ed up childhood but with that I took it as a learning experience. My Mom also got diagnosed with breast cancer which is still very hard to deal with. It tought me I shouldn't take people for granted. When others go through hard times and need advice I am there. Today I really stood up for myself and it felt good. Someone made a racist comment and I made sure that it was taken care of. I do not tolerate racism or homophobic comments. Racism is beyond stupid. Skin color is just that. Skin color. It doesn't make a person who they are. There are good and bad people in every single race. Homophobes are also ignorant. The only difference between gay and straight is what a person is attracted to sexually. If you're a straight person (like myself) you have nothing to do with a gay person's sexual life so it doesn't affect you any ways!!! I'm straight but I love the gay community. I also love people of all races. There is beauty in every culture. People do not have to "date within their race." This is 2011 I can date who ever the hell I please, I do not care what "color" someone is. A human is a human.


Anyways, a little bit about me, I'm about to be 21. I have black hair, green eyes. I used to wear my hair big a lot now I do it rarely, when I feel like it. I don't judge people before getting to know them and I believe people should look however they please because as long as you like yourself thats what matters. If people hate on you, you don't want friends like that anyway. A lot of people know who I am because of Myspace. They know my name but not who I REALLY AM. People love to spread rumors because they still play immature high school games. All I think to myself is, let that haters talk shi* because at the end of the day I'm not the ignorant fool, I don't judge others without knowing them.


 Ask me anything I'll tell you the truth in a heart beat.  Extremely honest, I've been through hell & back if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here for advice, hit me up on facebook. www.facebook.com/polkadotskaulitz  Everyone asks did you get your hair from Bill Kaulitz? NO! I had big hair before I knew who he was and I did it because I liked Visual Kei bands. I used to listen to a lot of rock now I really love rap music.


Oh and as for my love life, I'm single. Looking for a guy with swagggg. (and honesty!!) Actually No, I'm not looking I'm going to let him find me! :] ( I doubt anyone will find me in this damn city, I am the only honest person here. Party of one.)


more blogs to come, this is all for now. <3